Hash Hymnal
HASH HYMNAL
Vol. I
As Composed by Sockumsized
BEER PRAYER
Our Lager
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk,
I will be drunk,
At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the Beer, The Bitter, and the Lager,
Barmen.
BLESSING OF THE HARES
Bless these hares,
Bless this trail,
Coppus no catch us,
Farmer no shoot us,
Doggus no bite us,
Heatus no stroke us,
Plenty of cold beer to drink,
Coitus non interruptus.
AMAZING BEER
Melody – Amazing Grace
A - maz - ing beer,
A taste profound,
A whole keg just for thee!
The pack is lost,
But home you've found,
The beer check you can see.
HARE TOAST
Here's to the Hounds with their ten-minute clock,
Here's to the Hasher with the twelve-inch cock.
Here's to the Hash House with honor and grace,
Here's to the Harriette with her puss on my face.
Here's to the Trail as shitty as can be,
Here's to the Hares whose asses you'll see!
WHY WAS HE (SHE) BORN SO BEAUTIFUL
(HARE SEND OFF)
Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He's no fucking use to anyone,
He's no fucking use at all.
He may be a joy to his mother
But he's a pain in the asshole to me.
Drink it down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down.
WE'VE GOT VIRGINS
Melody - Frere Jacques
We've got virgins, We've got virgins,
At our hash, At our hash,
Gonna get'em drunked up,
Gonna get'em fucked up,
Down the hatch,
Up the ass,
So drink it down, down, down . .
SHORT HYMN
Melody - Amen
(with reverence)
Hymn, hymn, (Her, her,)
Fuck him . . . (Fuck her )...
AND THE HARES!!!!
RA: And what did we think about those hares?
CHORUS:
RA: And the hares,
Circle: And the hares,
RA: And the hares,
Circle: And the hares,
ALL: And the hares,
On her dicky-di-doe,
Hangs down to her knees.
One black one, one white one,
And one with a bit of shit on,
And one with a little light on,
to show us the way.
RA: And the hares,
Circle: And the hares,
RA: And the hares,
ALL: And the hares,
On her dicky-di-doe,
Hung down to her knees.
FRB SONG
They say you were the fastest
you won the hash today
You're not so fast you bastard
you shortcut all the way
You never even saw the trail
what will the others say?
They'll all say you're lucky
but we all know you're gay
DONNY THE RETARD
(DFL SONG)
Donny the retard,
Had an 8 pound melon head.
He was 5 ft 3,
And he said to me,
HAKLUFHULAFH…..
FBI SONG
Well, the wiggle on her ass could make a dead man cum
And the nipples on her tits are as big as my thumb
She's a mean motherfucker
She's a great cocksucker
She's a harriette
and she goes down, down, down, down.....
DO, RE, ME…
Do, the stuff that buys me beer.
Re, The guy that serves me beer.
Me, the guy that drinks the beer.
Fa, a long long way to beer.
So, I think I’ll have a beer.
La, I’ll have another beer.
Tea, No thanks I’m drinking beer.
Which brings us back to down, down, down, down…
AIR FORCE SONG
Melody - Off We Go, Into the Wild Blue Yonder
Off we go,
Into the wild blue yonder.
Crash and burn,
Son of a bitch!!
WOULD YOU LIKE
Would you like a finger in your ear? (place finger in ear)
Would you like a finger in your rear? (place finger on rear)
CHORUS (while spinning):
No sir, not fucking likely
not fucking likely,
not fucking li..ike..ly.
Drink it down, down, down, down…..
HEINEKEN, SCHMEINEKEN
Heineken, schmeineken,
Fuck that shit!
Pabst . . . Blue . . . Ribbon!
HE'S THE MEANEST
He's the meanest,
He sucks the horse's penis,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
Ever since he found it,
All he does is pound it,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
He's always pissing on us,
He's rotten and dishonest,
He's the meanest,
He's a horse's ass.
So drink chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, he’s the meanest he’s a horses ASS!
THIS IS YOUR DOWN-DOWN SONG
Melody - Ta-Rah-Rah-Boom Te-Ay
This is your Down-Down song,
It isn't very long.
Drink it down, down down.
Down, down, down, down, down….
DOWN DOWN DOWN YOUR BEER
Melody – Row Row Row Your Boat
Down Down Down your beer,
To pay for your crime.
Quit complaining about the taste,
There's no sperm this time.
SOLDIER SONG
Melody - Itself
Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be,
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee,
For cunt, for cunt, to fight for my country,
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,
A soldier I will be.
Drink it down, down, down . . .
LOVE ME TENDER
Melody - Love Me Tender
Love me tender, love me sweet
Wrap your lips around my meat
Watch me smile and watch me grin
As the cum rolls down, down, down, down, down etc . . .
THEY OUGHT TO BE PUBLICLY PISSED ON
Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean
They ought to be publicly pissed on,
They ought to be publicly shot,
They ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot,
Drink it down, down, down . . .
MRS. MURPHY
Put it in your mouth Mrs. Murphy.
It only weighs a quarter of a pound (if that).
It's got hair on it's neck,
like a turkey-turkey-turkey
and it cums when you stroke it up and
down, down, down, down....
UGLY
U-G-L-Y… You ain't got no alibi,
you're ugly, uh-uh you're ugly
M-O-M-M-A .. I know how you got that way,
your momma, uh-uh, your momma
D-A-D-D-Y.. You don't even know that guy,
your daddy, uh-uh, your daddy
U-N-C-L-E..Now you know your real daddy,
your uncle, uh-uh, your uncle
T-R-A-N-N-Y.. Holy shit! that girls a guy,
a tranny, uh-uh, a tranny
C-U-T-E..You wish you were cute like me
I'm cute, uh-uh, I'm cute.
MY ONE SKIN
My one skin hangs down to my two skin,
My two skin hangs down to my three,
My three skin hangs down to my foreskin
My foreskin hangs down to my knee.
CHORUS:
Roll back, roll back,
Please roll back my foreskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back,
Please roll back my foreskin for me.
Drinking down, down, down, down….
PLACE YOUR RIGHT LEG OVER MY SHOULDER
Place your right leg over my …shoulder.
Place your left leg over my ….shoulder.
(with tongue out)
NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM……..NUM NUM
HOT VAGINA
Hot vagina for your breakfast,
Hot vagina for your lunch,
Hot vagina for your dinner,
Just munch, munch, munch, munch, munch.
It's so speedy and nutritious,
Bite-size and ready to eat,
So take a tip, go eat your mom;
Hot vagina can't be beat.
MEET THE HASHERS
Melody - Flintstones Theme
Hashers, meet the hashers,
They're the biggest drunks in history,
From the Kitsap Area,
They're the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch them as they down a lot of beers,
Down down, down down down down,
Down down down down down down down down down,
Down down, down down down down,
Down down down down down down down down down.
HIS ONE-SKIN
Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean
His one skin hangs down to his two skin,
His two skin hangs down to his three,
His three skin hangs down to his foreskin,
His foreskin hangs down to his knee.
Drink it down, down, down . . .
HER LEFT TIT
Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean
Her left tit hangs down to her belly,
Her right tit hangs down to her knee.
If her left tit did equal her right tit,
She'd get lots of weenie from me.
Drink it down, down, down . . .
HERE'S TO BROTHER HASHER(S)
Here's to brother (sister) hasher,
Brother hasher, brother hasher,
Here's to brother hasher,
May he chug-a-lug.
He's happy, he's jolly,
He's fucked up by golly,
Here's to brother hasher,
May he chug-a-lug.
So drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,
Drink motherfucker,
Here's to brother hasher,
May he chug-a-lug.
JESUS CAN’T GO HASHING
Chorus:
Free beer for all the hashers
Free beer for all the hashers
Free beer for all the hashers
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves.
Verse:
Jesus can’t can’t go hashing cuz...
he's hung like THIS (holds arms stretched out wide)
Jesus can’t can’t go hashing cuz...
he's hung like THIS.
Jesus can’t can’t go hashing cuz...
he's hung like THIS.
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves.
Repeat Chorus
Jesus can’t go hashing cuz...
…his dress is white not red
…he's only wearing sandals
…he gave up beer for Lent
…he turns the flour to bread
…he's busy getting nailed
…the Jew won't pay 5 bucks
…the flour falls through his hands
…the shiggys on his head
(Head? Who said head?)
…he's stuck behind a rock
…the beer falls out his side
…cause he runs like this
(hopping, one foot to the other,
with arms stretched wide.)
…his dad knows all the checks
… Jesus we’re only kidding
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves.
KARMA CHLAMYDIA
Karma karma karma Chlamydia
It comes and goes
It comes and goooooes
Lovin isn't easy
if your stuck with an STD
It burns to pee
Ii burns to peeeeeee
HE WANKS HIS CRANK
He wanks his crank in the morning
He wanks his crank in the night
He wanks his crank with his left hand
and he cleans it up with his right.
So drink it down, down, down . . .
BALL GAME
Whip it out at the ball game
Wave it round at the crowd
Dip it peanuts and crackerjack
I don't care if you give it a whack
Because it's
Beat your meat at the ball game
If you don't cum it's a shame
It's one, two
And you're covered in goo
At the old ball game.
Drink it down, down, down, down...
SHIGGY SOGGY
Melody - Zicky Zacky
Shiggy Soggy, Shiggy Soggy,
ON-ON-ON!
Shiggy Soggy, Shiggy Soggy,
ON-ON-ON!
Drink it down, down, down …..