This is the HS!WTF? Hash Hymnal

Bless these hares,

Bless this trail,

Coppus no catch us,

Farmer no shoot us,

Doggus no bite us,

Heatus no stroke us,

Plenty of cold beer to drink,

Coitus non interruptus,

Tittus Assistus.

Which art in barrels,

Hallowed be thy drink.

Thy will be drunk,

I will be drunk,

At home as in the tavern.

Give us this day our foamy head,

And forgive us our spillages,

As we forgive those who spill against us.

And lead us not into incarceration,

But deliver us from hangovers.

For thine is the Beer, The Bitter, and the Lager,

Barmen

Melody – Amazing Grace

A - maz - ing beer,

A taste profound,

A whole keg just for thee!

The pack is lost,

But home you've found,

The beer check you can see.

Here's to the Hounds with their ten-minute clock,

Here's to the Hasher with the twelve-inch cock.

Here's to the Hash House with honor and grace,

Here's to the Harriette with her puss on my face.

Here's to the Trail as shitty as can be,

Here's to the Hares whose asses you'll see!

Melody - Frere Jacques

We've got virgins, We've got virgins,

At our hash, At our hash,

Gonna get'em drunked up, 

Gonna get'em fucked up,

Down the hatch, 

Up the ass,

So drink it down, down, down . .

Melody - Amen

(with reverence)

Hymn, hymn, (Her, her,)

Fuck him . . . (Fuck her )...

Why were they born so beautiful? 

Why were they born at all? 

They're no fucking use to anyone, 

They're no fucking use at all.

They may be a joy to their mother 

But they're a pain in the asshole to me.

Drink it down, down, down, down, 

Down, down, down, down, 

Down, down, down, down, 

Down, down, down, down

RA: And what did we think about those hares?

Circle: Fuck those hares!

RA: And the hares, 

Circle: And the hares,

RA: And the hares, 

Circle: And the hares, 

ALL: And the hares, 

On her dicky-di-doe, 

Hangs down to her knees. 

One black one, one white one, 

And one with a bit of shit on, 

And one with a little light on, 

to show us the way. 

And various choruses from the pack, etc...

Well, they say you were the fastest

you won the hash today

You're not so fast you bastard

you shortcut all the way

You never even saw the trail

what will the others say?

They'll all say you're lucky

but we all know you're strange

Well, the wiggle on her ass could make a dead man cum

And the nipples on her tits are as big as my thumb

She's a mean motherfucker

She's a great cocksucker

She's a harriette

and she goes down, down, down, down.....

Do, the stuff that buys me beer.

Re, The guy that serves me beer.

Me, the guy that drinks the beer.

Fa, a long long way to beer.

So, I think I’ll have a beer.

La, I’ll have another beer.

Tea, No thanks I’m drinking beer.

Which brings us back to down, down, down, down…

Melody - Off We Go, Into the Wild Blue Yonder

Off we go,

Into the wild blue yonder.

Crash and burn,

Son of a bitch!!

Melody - Hava Nagila

Would you like a finger in your ear? (place finger in ear)

Would you like a finger in your rear? (place finger on rear)

CHORUS (while spinning):

No sir, not fucking likely

not fucking likely,

not fucking li..ike..ly.

Drink it down, down, down, down…..

Heineken, schmeineken,

Fuck that shit!

Pabst . . . Blue . . . Ribbon!

He's the meanest, 

He sucks the horse's penis, 

He's the meanest, 

He's a horse's ass. 

Ever since he found it, 

All he does is pound it, 

He's the meanest, 

He's a horse's ass. 

He's always pissing on us, 

He's rotten and dishonest, 

He's the meanest, 

He's a horse's ass. 

So drink chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, he’s the meanest he’s a horses ASS!

Melody - Ta-Rah-Rah-Boom Te-Ay

This is your Down-Down song,

It isn't very long.

Drink it down, down down.

Down, down, down, down, down….

Melody – Row Row Row Your Boat

Down Down Down your beer,

To pay for your crime.

Quit complaining about the taste,

There's no sperm this time.

Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be,

To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee,

For cunt, for cunt, to fight for my country,

Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole,

A soldier I will be.

Drink it down, down, down . . .

Melody - Love Me Tender

Love me tender, love me sweet 

Wrap your lips around my meat 

Watch me smile and watch me grin 

As the cum rolls down, down, down, down, down etc . . .

Melody - My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean

They ought to be publicly pissed on,

They ought to be publicly shot,

They ought to be tied to a urinal,

And left there to fester and rot,

Drink it down, down, down . . 

Put it in your mouth Mrs. Murphy.

It only weighs a quarter of a pound (if that).

It's got hair on it's neck,

like a turkey-turkey-turkey

and it cums when you stroke it up and

down, down, down, down....

U-G-L-Y, you ain’t got no alibi

You’re ugly, you’re ugly, your momma says you’re ugly

D-A-D-D-Y you don’t even know that guy

Your daddy, your daddy, your daddy says you’re ugly

U-N-C-L-E he may be your real daddy

Your uncle, your uncle, your uncle says you’re ugly

C-O-U-S-I-N that's the one you're marryin'

Your cousin, your cousin your cousin says you're ugly

I-N-B-R-E-D that's what your kids'll be

They're Inbred, They're inbred, Your kids all say you're ugly

C-U-T-E..You wish you were cute like me

I'm cute, I'm cute, You know it that I'm cute

My one skin hangs down to my two skin, 

My two skin hangs down to my three, 

My three skin hangs down to my foreskin 

My foreskin hangs down to my knee.

CHORUS: 

Roll back, roll back, 

Please roll back my foreskin for me, for me. 

Roll back, roll back, 

Please roll back my foreskin for me.

Drinking down, down, down, down….

Place your right leg over my …shoulder.

Place your left leg over my ….shoulder.

(with tongue out) 

NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM……..NUM NUM

Hot vagina for your breakfast, 

Hot vagina for your lunch, 

Hot vagina for your dinner, 

Just munch, munch, munch, munch, munch. 

It's so speedy and nutritious, 

Bite-size and ready to eat, 

So take a tip, go eat your mom; 

Hot vagina can't be beat

Melody - Flintstones Theme      

Hashers, meet the hashers,

They're the biggest drunks in history,

From the Kitsap Area,

They're the leaders in debauchery.

Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,

Watch them as they down a lot of beers,

Down down, down down down down,

Down down down down down down down down down,

Down down, down down down down,

Down down down down down down down down down

Here's to brother (sister) hasher, 

Brother hasher, brother hasher, 

Here's to brother hasher, 

May he chug-a-lug. 

He's happy, he's jolly, 

He's fucked up by golly, 

Here's to brother hasher, 

May he chug-a-lug. 

So drink motherfucker, 

Drink motherfucker, 

Drink motherfucker, 

Drink motherfucker, 

Here's to brother hasher, 

May he chug-a-lug

Verse:

Jesus can’t can’t go hashing cuz...

he's hung like THIS (holds arms stretched out wide)

Jesus can’t can’t go hashing cuz...

he's hung like THIS.

Jesus can’t can’t go hashing cuz...

he's hung like THIS.

Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves.

Chorus:

Free beer for all the hashers

Free beer for all the hashers

Free beer for all the hashers

Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves

Next verse (repeat chorus after each verse):

 Jesus can’t go hashing cuz...

…his dress is white not red

…he's only wearing sandals

…he gave up beer for Lent

…he turns the flour to bread

…he's busy getting nailed 

…the Jew won't pay 5 bucks

…the flour falls through his hands

…the shiggys on his head

    (Head? Who said head?)

…he's stuck behind a rock 

…the beer falls out his side

…cause he runs like this

(hopping, one foot to the other, 

with arms stretched wide.)

…his dad knows all the checks

… Jesus we’re only kidding

Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves

Karma karma karma Chlamydia

It comes and goes

It comes and goooooes

Lovin isn't easy 

if your stuck with an STD

It burns to pee

Ii burns to peeeeeee

He wanks his crank in the morning 

He wanks his crank in the night

He wanks his crank with his left hand 

and he cleans it up with his right.

So drink it down, down, down .

Whip it out at the ball game  

Wave it round at the crowd  

Dip it peanuts and crackerjack  

I don't care if you give it a whack  

Because it's  

Beat your meat at the ball game  

If you don't cum it's a shame  

It's one, two  

And you're covered in goo  

At the old ball game.

Drink it down, down, down, down...